Thursday, November 1, 2007

Anybody addicted to pain killers?

GREAT! I think I'm going to sell mine! Just kidding I really probably shouldn't say that. i don't want to go to jail!

The boob job went GREAT! I have a scar and a nice bruise, but my one sided boob job was a success!

Would you Like to Hear a Good Story? Fabulous!

On the way home from my surgery (which I will post pictures of...the bruise, not my boobies. sick!) I did only one funny thing. I am quite disappointed that my drugged brain didn't come up with anything more brilliant because I didn't even say it OUT LOUD! Oh well, it's all I remember and it's all I've got so here you go my 4 friends who read this blog:

Dad was driving through the canyon on our way home. You have never been in "the canyon"? WELL! Then you have never experienced the road that was engineered to give small children, the elderly, and ME car sickness! I started to complain that my stomach hurt and I felt like puking. My dad leaned up to get a look at my face. Mouth wide open, eyes droopy, head tilted back. I looked like a drug dealer. I had a bandage wrapped around my hand, crushing my fingers together from my IV (however you spell that) that reminded me of a dinosaur hand. My dad commented "You look really green." My mind automatically flipped to the bandage around my hand and I though "that's because I'm a dinosaur." It made perfect sense to me. (refer to dinosaur hands above.)

Well happy Halloween to all of my family and friends (at least the four of you who read this.) Give your kids a kiss for me!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Doctors Offices are like Strip Clubs

Of course I know absolutely nothing about strip clubs (except "The Paper Tiger" in Colorado where Courtney used to work...) but now I feel like I have a pretty good idea. The past few weeks I have found myself frequently standing face to face with a doctor who feels perfectly wonderful telling me to strip down and get in some skimpy, see through, "gown". I challenge this pervert with a dark glare, but they always ignore me and "step out" for a moment while I TRY to change in the 2.5 seconds that they give me before coming right back in. This gives me just enough time to be inappropriately exposed to the poor witnesses in the hallway. I thought strippers where supposed to get tips! WHERE IS MY TIP Mr. DOCTOR?? Medical school is for sickos!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I am Anita Stansfield

This is my being a softy:
"The clouds carried proof of a routine fall day turning winter: cold and wet. The road was the same as always, was leading the same place as always and my mind did not look for ways to excite it. Rain began to beat down on the dead grey pavement, convincing it to surrender until this manmade dirt transformed into a glittering pathway. A small amount of sunlight reflected the captivating land that beamed with gilded delight. I chased the sparks of light that beckoned me to follow as they danced and jumped excitedly in front of me. The thickening darkness wrapped around my amusement, shutting out all reality and allowing my mind to dip into the color pulsating brilliantly. All early morning brightness hid (knowing that its effect would only end a cloudy day’s performance) besides the occasional lighting bolt that would thrill the dancing sparks ahead of me and cloud my consciousness until I was once again persuaded to continue. Wisdom in the ancient trees lining my pathway dropped vividly yellow fall leaves accenting the black pavement like rose pedals marking the path of royalty. "

My little valley
* don't worry. It still isn't as good as COLORADO!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I'm Trying to Fit In

Well, I'm not in relief society, and I don't have adorable kids to post pictures of. But I do have an extremely slow job that allows for me to spend 6 or 7 hours every day looking at everyone else's blogs. I feel guilty getting paid good money to sit on my bum and crochet or check out the latest old men on msn singles, but I'm done reading Twilight so here I am. I thought I would start off my attempts to fit in by adding my own personal cast list of Twilight (everyone else is doing it...)

Bella: Jenna Dewan

Edward: Stuart Reed

Edward2: Matthew Goode
(thanks JaNae)

Jasper: Trent Ford

Alice: Rachel Bilison

Esme/Alice: Rachel Cook

Esme: Dagmara Dominczyk